The Classes I Wish Colleges Offered

My Alma Mater

The more I learn to be an adult, the more I realize I don't know what I learned from college or what skills I took away from my experience there (okay fine, learning to drink sort of counts, i guess...). I feel like in elementary through high school I learned so much - addition, subtraction, spelling, how to read.... and then I got to college and grad school and I'm not entirely sure what happened. I feel like college did a sub-par job in helping me transition to adulthood and get ready for the "real world". So I took it upon myself to draft up some classes, along with the course description, that I think would have been very helpful for me and probably that every college should consider a required course before graduation.


1. Financing Your Student Loans:
In this course you will learn all there is to know about student loans, including the different types of loans, how interest rates work, and the best ways to pay your loan back quick. In addition, students will be reminded that receiving student loan checks are not the same as receiving actual work pay checks. At the end of the course, students will fully grasp how poor you will be and how long you will be in debt.

2. Majors that are Useful in Reality:
Learn about the useful majors offered in school along with salary scales and the time it takes to find a job. Students will walk away with a profound grasp on what "following your dreams" really entails

3. Living Practically and on a Budget:
Do you know how much $100 is worth in your city? Do you know how much alcohol costs at a restaurant vs at a supermarket? This class will delve into how you can save money and make it last.
Pre-req how to finance your student loans 

4. Little Fish in a Big Pond- Surviving Among Greatness:
Learn to walk and talk confidently even when you realize how much winning other people are doing in life. Students will also learn yoga and other breathing techniques to hold themselves together until they can go home and lay in fetal position.

5. Mastering the Art of Leftover Cooking- Using Ingredients from your Fridge:
Do you want to become a master chef but there's nothing appetizing left in your fridge? Learn how to make simple and edible meals from leftovers in your fridge like beer, ketchup, bread and cereal.

6. Making Friends in the Real World: 
Learn how you can make friends once you graduate! The class will go through different methods and tools you can use when you're new to a city. In addition, we will go through warning signs of becoming a hermit and how to move away from being complacent with being alone.

7. Cupids Arrow- Navigating Online Dating: 
Not sure what kind of profile pictures attract yes swipes? Not sure how to tell if someone has the signs of being a high-sexual-predator? We will cover basics of online dating and how to enhance your profile for a maximum chance to procreate.

8. Adulting like a Parent:
Learn answers to tough adult questions. This class will cover 20 most commonly questions we call our parents for. Discussions covered include: how do I file my taxes? Is this food still okay to eat? and how does insurance work?

9. Marriage in the 21st Century:
Do you believe in Pinterest weddings and happily ever afters? Take this eye opening seminar where we invite real married couples each week to talk about their marital problems and what they wish they knew before committing.

10. The Aging Self: 
Think you can eat at 10 pm every night and not gain weight? This class will delve into how your bodies start to change in your mid-20s. We will go over which foods are rich in anti-aging properties, how to increase metabolism, how to eat enough fiber to avoid constipation and learn the art of saying "no thanks" to another glass of wine to avoid that hangover and acid reflux.