What I'm Learning Through the Wait

I'm in my 7th month of (f)unemployment now... Which is CRAZY because time goes by SO fast when you're unemployed. Like you know when it's Friday and you're super excited that it's the weekend, and then all of a sudden you're sad because it's a Sunday and you're wondering where all the time went? Yes, that is exactly how I feel, except I don't get sad for Sundays since my life is a Friday, every day. Jealous? I know.

When every day is a weekend...

So what have I learned during these 7 months to myself as I wait for my next job??
Most of you know that after 4.5 years of working, I felt like I was being called not only for a season of change, but also to enter a season of rest. A time to really stop, take a break, and enjoy where I was. I realize how lucky I am to be able to do this because I'm healthy and don't need to maintain my job for (good) healthcare, I don't have a family I have to care for, I don't have to think of how my choices affect a relationship, and I have family that is willing to give me a roof over my head.

So basically.... instead of being sad about not being in a relationship, I spun it as an opportunity to quit my job. lololol.

Me, saying bye to my job and life in NYC.

But jokes aside, now that I've basically had 7 months to reflect and think too much, here's what I've learned during funemployment:

1. No one knows what the f*ck they're doing -- Okay, maybe not no one, but a good portion of us. As soon as I put out that I was quitting my job, I was so surprised when I got messages of not only support but also a ton of "I wish I could quit my job too..." Like waaaat. I thought you had life together??? If you don't have life together, who does?!? It's seriously something that needs to be talked about more. So if you're reading this and moping because you think all of your friends love their jobs and have thriving careers, pffft, chin up. Everyone has their own story and basically no one knows what they're doing.

2. A big part of waiting is how you choose to wait -- I quit my job with the idea that I might be unemployed for 2 years, maybe even longer. The job market is no joke and you never know what life might throw at you. And so I decided that when I quit, I would take the time to do things i enjoy and that give me pleasure. That's why I've made travel a priority during my period of waiting (So far, since i've quit my job, i've been to the Netherlands, Japan, Malaysia, Korea, Austria, LA, Arizona, SF, Vegas, and back to the Netherlands) . If the budget and opportunity present itself, I try and go. Obviously there are days when I'm stressed and full of anxiety and think to myself "oh god, i'm never going to be employed, ever again", as I rock myself back and forth in fetal position....

But then, I could either mope around and apply to 100 jobs that won't respond OR I could go drink a beer in Amsterdam while applying to 100 jobs that won't respond. ;)

I choose to be an unemployed drunk in Europe! yay!

3. The support is overwhelming -- I was really only able to quit my job because of the close support around me. In fact, the decision to quit my job was finalized when my parents and family gave me their support. After all... someone was gonna have to take me in #homeless. And my church family prayed for me every step of the way. But the most surprising and pleasant support I got is from strangers and friends I haven't spoken to in years. I was getting messages from people I didn't know remembered me, telling me I could stay with them if I ever passed through their city. And I had strangers set me up with other strangers to look over my resume or talk jobs. I quit my job thinking I had a close, small number of supporters, only to find how far and wide my network of support really is.

4. It's important to take a break, even while you wait -- Yes, I know, some of you are thinking I'm on vacation mode 24/7. Which is NOT true. I apply to jobs, fix my portfolio, network, and then I take breaks. Because job searching is actually kinda depressing. You read description after description, and then wonder what you did for the last 10 years of your life. LIke seriously, does me not working a full-time job count for any life achievement points?! So it's important to take breaks and walk away from it. For me, that break has been resting in God. Sometimes, I take 10-30 minutes, sometimes I take hours, sometimes a full day....it really depends on the day and mood. But it's the breaks that have really been able to keep me sane through it all. And the beers.

When job descriptions basically tell you your education and work experience don't really count...

5. When you take a big risk, the other risks are easier to take -- The one thing I have enjoyed about quitting my job is that I'm open to taking other risks. Before, I used to sit there and calculate every possible scenario and then dwell on it some more, and then some more, and then not do anything about it. Now, pfffft. What's the worst that can happen? I already gave up my manhattan life and full time salary with amazing healthcare. When you know your "rock bottom" is livin the suburban Seattle life with a glass of wine by 4pm, you start taking some chances.

What life is like in the burbs.

But in all seriousness, theres definitely both the good and bad to waiting. I would be lying if I said it's all fun and games with loads of beers and traveling. Because the reality is that with waiting there also comes so much disappointment and self-doubt. But I am lucky to not only have amazing friends and family, the means to travel, the health to move around, and to believe in a God who I know loves me unconditionally and whose timing is always perfect.

So, future job, I shall continue to wait for you to the best of my abilities. (not like i have a choice or anything...)