Monday, September 1, 2014

Labor Day Weekend- A Glimpse into the Future

Today for labor day, i went over to a house for a bbq where most, if not all, were married and had children. And as i sat there with 3 children, 1 baby, and 2 toddlers running around, i thought to myself "omg. where is the alcohol..."

haha jkjk

in reality, i thought "omg, is this what my 30s will be like?!" During my 3 hour interaction with these little creatures, this is what i learned (as illustrated by gifs):

1) They have so much energy. They literally ran around. and around. and around... and around. And then when they have something yummy in their hands, like icecream (or as the kids pronounced it: "ice-cweam"), they ran around again screaming. I had to stop looking at them because i legit got a headache.

2) They are messy, messy little eaters. We had popsicles dripping everywhere, doritos crumbs falling on the floor, food stuck in hairs... Good thing the house had a dog to pick everything up. 

3) People say: "ugh girls are so shrilly! and they scream all the time!".... no. boys scream so loud in a high-pitched ear piercing scream. it is kind of amazing actually. 

4) There is no such thing as rest/ peaceful eating when you have children. One eye must always, always be on the child because things like this happen when you don't watch. 

5) Toddlers are really just little drunk people walking.

6) The main reason why children are so exhausting is because they ignore their parents. One kid legit stared as their name was being called and then just looked away.... what. I'm pretty sure this is their mentality:
(if i did this back in the day, my mom would come after me. no joke. "WHAT? YOU DONT HEAR ME?! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU REALLY DONT HEAR!")

7) A kid fell and then i was like "oh my gosh!!" and my heart stopped because i didnt know if the kid was alright. And then their parent was like.. all nonchalantly, "its fine". So then i learned that sooner or later, after constantly tripping and falling, after all the mess they make, and all of the screaming, this is the attitude parents start having:

8) Dogs are more obedient than children... The house we went to had a dog who accidentally pooped on the floor of the kitchen. So its owner put him in timeout...and he stayed put until the owner came back and lifted its paws off the chair. wow. Also, dogs are so much fluffier. and cuter. and they don't grow too big. and they dont scream at you. and cause you heartache. dogs are just the absolute best. 
isn't he soo adorable?!

9) Being single is awesome. Mainly because i can stay out late, do as i please, and still say things like this without feeling like i have to be responsible:

10) and lastly i learned that being a parent is extremely, extremely, extremely hard work. Pinterest and etsy make it sound like raising children is all fun and games and pretty... but no. I seriously sat there and WATCHED children play for 3 hours. and then came home and passed the fu*k out. 

Hope everyone had an amazing labor day weekend! :) 

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